Moms Don't Need Self-Care

It seems like everywhere we turn, we hear messages encouraging moms to prioritize self-care.
But for many moms, especially those with small children, that’s unrealistic and almost offensive.

Yes, we know that taking care of ourselves is essential. But in our busy, hectic, crazy lives, when even basic hygiene and hydration are challenging goals to achieve, how are supposed to make the time for it?

The answer, as usual, is in the nuance.

Moms today juggle a million roles.

Alongside meeting the diverse needs of our children, we’re balancing work, household duties, and personal responsibilities.

As motherhood has grown more complex—now emphasizing the emotional and developmental needs of raising happy, healthy children—our roles in society have also intensified.
We’re not only nurturing but also contributing financially, sharing equal responsibility with our partners.

The societal narrative around self-care is out of touch with this reality and doesn’t take into account the complexity of modern motherhood.

When you barely have a moment to catch your breath, how can you carve out dedicated time for self-care?

Between feeding schedules, tantrums, sleepless nights, and a never-ending to-do list, the idea of “setting aside time” for a long bath, a quiet yoga class, or even an uninterrupted cup of tea can feel like a cruel joke.

The standard definition of self-care — a separate, indulgent activity that requires carving out hours of time we simply don’t have — sets an unrealistic expectation for moms, who end up feeling guilty and inadequate when they inevitably can’t find the time. And for those of us who do find the time, it ends up feeling like yet another chore.

What’s missing is a realistic, practical approach to self-care that aligns with real mom-life.

For moms, especially those with young children, self-care needs to be less about “time away” and more about small, intentional acts woven into the fabric of daily life.

Self-care doesn’t have to mean a spa day or a weekend retreat.

It can mean taking three deep breaths before responding to a child’s meltdown, asking for help when you need it, or finding two minutes to enjoy a hot cup of coffee in peace.

It can mean being kinder to yourself when things don’t go as planned, instead of adding guilt and self-judgment to the mix.

Real self-care for moms often looks less like an escape and more like finding ways to recharge in the midst of it all. Simple, small acts of renewal can make a profound difference, helping us be present, resilient, and connected with our children—even on the most hectic days.

If you’re ready to explore realistic self-care that works for you, check out Less Stress, More Ease, the free 6-day email course that will help you build a practical self-care habit that fits into your real, busy life.